So there's a fitness craze that's been going on for awhile now, called Zumba. It's based on latin dance moves, and I'm told is very fun and quite the workout. My good friend Heather even teaches a class for the women in her neighborhood. Well - it sounded interesting, so when my friend Rosann got it on DVD, I happened to mention that I'd like to try it sometime. A few weeks ago, she brought it to me to borrow. Finally this morning, I popped it into the DVD player to give it a shot.
I only have a few words to say - what the he-- was I thinking? First, my instructors were a trio of scantily-clad size 0 types. And let's just say that size 0 I'm not. Seriously, is an instructor dressed like a hoochie mama supposed to make me feel inspired? At least in belly dancing, the whole point of it is that it's done by women with curves. Then the hoochies went on about how easy it was, and anybody could get the hang of it in just a few simple steps. Yeah - that's if you don't throw out a hip or pop a knee ligament while you're doing it. I honestly don't think people were really meant to bend that way. But at least I was hanging in there with the merengue steps. After showing me the merengue, and giving me enough practice that I'll never possibly remember any of it, they moved on to the quebradita - some unpronouncable tejano thing where you hop back and forth and kick your legs up. And there they lost me. I couldn't even say it, let alone dance to it. Honestly, I couldn't turn the thing off fast enough. It was an accident waiting to happen, and I had visions of being sprawled on the floor, and calling Emergency Services, saying "I've been doing zumba, and I can't get up."
So much for staying young and hip. I immediately pulled out the trusty mini-trampoline and went back to my usual routine. Who cares if I'm stuck in the 80's? At least all my joints still work (for the most part), and I can watch an episode of "Law and Order" while I'm at it.
Comments