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Not to be outdone - Tracie's Blind Date Story

My friend Inge wrote about one of her blind date stories, and since I didn't want to be outdone, I figured I would join the party. Usually, I break these stories out at parties anyway. By way of a disclaimer, this was several years ago, I am still alive, and I never heard from the guy again.

Here goes...I used to work the 1:30-10PM shift. One afternoon a co-worker asked me if I would be willing to go out on a blind date with a friend of her husband's. The exact scenario was something along the lines of "he's really nice, he's been staying with us, we're sick of him, it's our anniversary, we want to go out, please take him off our hands...", to which I finally relented (mistake #1). I figured she was a church member, he was a returned missionary, and she wouldn't set me up with a creep (mistake #2).

So we make arrangements for him to call me when I get home (mistake #3 - he has my number) and then to meet at my apartment (mistake #4 - he knows where I live). By now it was 10:30 or 11:00PM. He arrives, comes to the door, comes in, and seems ok. We throw around a few ideas for something to do, and finally decide to go to the store and get ingredients for chocolate chip cookies, and rent a movie, then come back and watch the movie. So we go out to his car, which was kind of a clunker, but whatever, and we get in to head to the grocery store.

He starts apologizing for the car, how it's a clunker, but his car's in impound in Nevada (clue #1), so he had to borrow his parent's car. Again, not too worried here. We start driving away when he feels the need to tell me why his car was in impound in Nevada, which turns out to be that he was picked up there for armed robbery. "But it was all a big misunderstanding, but the lawyer I hired didn't think he could get me off, so he convinced me to take a plea...". At this point I am sitting in the car as close to the door as possible. He then turns to me and says "I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I just feel so comfortable around you." (creepy moment #1)

We get to the store safely, get our groceries and our video and go back to my house. Thankfully my roommate was home and hanging out in the next room. We make the cookies, watch the movie, and he goes home. At which point I and my roommate breathe a huge sigh of relief.

So I go to work the next day, and my co-worker asks how the evening went. To which I say, "um do you know what he told me?", and proceed to tell her the armed robbery story. To which she says "Yeah, I can't believe he told you about that." In other words - she knew all along. Then she tells me how much he enjoyed the date, and he even left something at my apartment so it would give him an excuse to come back later (creepy moment #2). At this point I'm furious and just sitting there with my jaw open. Somehow I make it through the day.

The next day I'm sitting at home, and the phone rings. I pick it up, and it's him, and he says "I just wanted to call and tell you what a good time I had the other night...(long pause), and I was wondering if you would do me a favor?" I hesitantly asked what it might be, to which he says "Could you take me to Nevada to get my car out of impound?" (creepy moment #3) At this point, I say no, and get off the phone as quick as I can. I never saw or heard from him again, and have thanked my lucky stars ever since.

I guess there could be several morals to the story: 1) Never agree to a blind date from an LDS co-worker who is trying to pawn off a jail bait mission companion. 2) Beware of men driving their parent's cars when their's is in impound. 3) When they tell you about their arrest record, don't be afraid to jump out of the moving vehicle.

I guess I could have done all that - but then I wouldn't have anything to share at parties anymore. The things we do for good material, especially if the material keeps getting better with each re-telling. Someday I'll tell you the one about the Taco Bell Tap Dancer.


!nge said…
I shared my blog entry with our bishopric. I told them that their talks on Sunday made me feel so guilty for having such a bad attitude when it comes to dating. I've tried to not expect too much, but I scraped the bottom of the barrell with my blind date. They've replied with comforting words and agreed that they'd stop dating if they had been on my nightmare date.
Anonymous said…
Taco Bell Tap Dancer is my favorite blind date story of yours, but this one makes me laugh every time I hear it. I'm glad you've written it down for posterity :)

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