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Rough Week

I have to say, this last week was a rough one, and I'm glad it is over.  One of those "...guess I'll go eat worms" kind of weeks.  Seems most of my co-workers are no longer speaking to me (none of them will tell me why), and to top it off, I received my worst review score of my entire professional career. To say I was taken aback is an understatement.  Mind you, I've still never received the actual review, just the score, which was below target. I asked for some explanation, and the way I understand it, it was based on some negative feedback from another manager months ago. I was told that I accomplished everything I set out to do last year, but apparently need to work on my personality, which gave me "mixed results". Ouch!

Of course, I know I'm not perfect. And it would be really easy to be totally devastated and deflated by it all, and to work my way through an entire carton of ice cream. I've tried not to be, although I confess that in being an achievement-oriented person, there are some moments I'm more successful at it than others.  But I've prayed to feel the Lord's love, I've read scriptures (Isaiah in particular), and I've been re-reading portions of an awesome book that my sister-in-law gave me for Christmas called "Facing the Son".  The point of all these efforts is to try to remember my worth as a Child of God,  and not find my sense of self-worth in recognition (or in this case, lack of recognition) from other people.

Another thing I'm trying to do is not be angry or upset with my manager or the other manager involved.  These things are pretty subjective anyway - someone else doesn't have my perspective and I don't have theirs, and really one isn't any better than another.  It's kind of like judging a figure skating routine.  Unless one of the skaters falls flat on their face, who's to say their interpretation is better than someone else's?

Tomorrow morning, I get to go back to work again. And it will probably take all the courage I can muster to walk in the door.  But it will all get better with time and things will eventually work out.  "All things work together for good to them that love God."


I'm so sorry, sweetie. I wish I was there to give you a hug and take you out to SpagFac. Years ago I received a similar review - my first negative one that I was completely blind-sided by - and I was super upset by it. On my way home I was ranting (read: crying) to a friend and he said (which sounds harsh, but really it put it all into perspective for me), "It's just a job." He was right! It's JUST a stupid job. Your job does not define you. Those people don't know you personally or your wonderful compassion and human spirit. They're missing out! I love you, sweet thing. Keep your chin up.
Tracie said…
Thanks Pink! I totally needed that perspective. Love you!
Hey Sis - just getting caught up on your blog after a few week absence. Sorry you are struggling with things. I'm sure everything will work out. The most important thing is that WE love you and think you're wonderful!!! Don't let it get you down. Keep your chin up and just keep on doing the best you can. Love you!

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