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Charity is Hard

One of my "stones of light" for this year is Charity. Not just the type of charity which means giving to the less fortunate, but the pure love of Christ. It's a characteristic I truly want to develop. However... let me just say, charity is hard. This last couple of years I've been reprimanded, made fun of, sabotaged (and I'm not talking about a certain oversize cat), harassed, and in general, had many opportunities to develop charity. And boy, have I struggled with it. I'm someone who just wants to like everyone and have everyone like me. So it is really hard to not take offense or run away in those situations. I also am someone who stews about it for weeks or even months afterwards. Why did I shrink, why can't I "give it right back" and then some? Why do I always think of the perfect response ten minutes later? Woe is me.

The thing about charity is that it's not something we can plan ahead. We're usually confronted with it on the spur of the awkward moment. It also means that if we're to have charity in said  moment, then we also need to have forgiveness in said moment. One virtue in the awkward moment is tough, but two is sometimes too much. And frankly, some charity is harder to develop for some folks than others.

Needless to say, charity will likely be a long-term pursuit for me. The scriptures tell us to "cleave" unto it, and to pray for it "with all the energy of heart" (Moroni 7:46, 48). So - I'll continue to pray to have charity, continue to not respond in kind, stop hoping for bad karma to come around on mean people, and continue keeping the faith. And hopefully one day be more like the Savior.

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