Here it is, 2013. And while I had a terrific Christmas and a Happy New Year, something about 2013 has been off for me so far. Not only, off, but it seems that I have gone and lost my "mojo". Case in point:
A couple of weeks ago, I'm out running some errands, and I have my itinerary all planned. Planned, that is, until I have a small accident with my finger while I'm trying to get out of WalMart, an accident that involves bleeding profusely. I finally get myself back in the car, and change the itinerary to head home, because it's pretty darn difficult to run all your errands while you're bleeding profusely. So I get home, and the garage door won't go up. Not only won't go up, but I have to sit and play with it for 10 minutes (did I mention the part about the bleeding) until it finally does go up. I run up the stairs to take care of the wound, and fumble all over, one-handed, while spilling first aid supplies all over the counter before I'm finally taken care of. I hop back in the car to continue running errands, which now entails an extra $40 for a new garage door remote. I get home and try to calm my nerves with a smidgen (really a liter) of Diet Pepsi.
Not only does this not make it better, but it gets worse. I needed to change out the garbage in the bathroom. And in doing so, I spilled half of it in the toilet. So there I am fishing for garbage in toilet water, one-handed.
Later that evening, I went to make some instant brown rice - and put in twice as much water as it called for. That was after I spilled half of the stir-fried vegetables on the floor. When I tried to wipe that up and throw it in the kitchen garbage, did any of it go in the garbage can? Not hardly. You guessed it, it went all over the floor.
That was two weeks ago. And frankly, it's been pretty much the same ever since. Things are a little off at work, too - my boss is irritated with me. And good luck getting any of my multi-cultural co-workers to understand a thing I'm saying. I can't begin to tell you how many clarifications I've had to send out to them after they've misunderstood my meaning. I've taken to conducting regular sessions in the bathroom stall, where I breathe deeply and count to 10. I've even gained a couple of pounds that I can't get rid of, even with more vegetables and more exercise. And it's got me way stressed out, too. I feel like that waitress Vera, on the old show "Alice", the one who's so high strung that straws and napkins and silverware are flying everywhere in the diner. And my diet pepsi budget is starting to get a little out of control.
I don't know if it's the endless inversion, the single-digit temperatures, the 3-day snowstorms, or a house elf that's out to get me. Could it be that I've somehow gone through a worm-hole to another dimension? Whatever it is, I'm a bit tired of it. I'm ready to place an ad on KSL:
LOST - My mojo. If found, please return to Tracie ASAP. Reward offered, all the diet pepsi you can drink (I'll even throw in some Brussel Sprouts - and you all know how I love Brussel Sprouts).
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